Today saw something special. Much to the annoyance of myself and the delight of many arrogant Italians, England proved they can only be successful with an Italian at the helm. As I’m sure you’re aware, England managed to overpower the football power-house that is Slovenia to make it through to the last 16. Much like England’s hip hop scene, they finished second to the USA, but it was a good result. This got me thinking, is there a song out there which will inspire our young men to further success? Is there some sort of amazing piece of composition that will bring a tear to our eyes, a sense of pride into our hearts, and provide the drive needed to bring the trophy home? I think there is… Yes, it’s time for a generic post about FOOTBALL ANTHEMS!
To start off, let’s have a quick reminder of what we should be listening to right now as a precursor to every England game. Our official anthem is from Dizzee Rascal and James Corden. Dizzee has morphed into a pop-rapper from the hip hop rapper that he used to be, but I do like some of his new stuff and I think he’s developed (probably with some help) his sound into something that can bring in a lot of money. I haven’t got anything against that. James Corden is not quite such an annoying comedian as I thought. I just saw his world cup show (with Shakira!) and he certainly beat down Sir Patrick Stewart fair and square too. However, the song is awful. They ruin a decent enough song by Blackstreet and then proceed to clown about and make a fool out of themselves! I hope this isn’t the beginning of a trend..
Sadly, I think I may be onto something. To say that this next song is exactly what the average football anthem is would be, well, exactly right. Good, I’m glad I’ve managed to hit the nail on the head with this. It is from Denmark, so I haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about, but its got copious amounts of synthesiser in it along with a horrible euro-poppy feel. And just check out all their crazy fans!
Bonus: Spot a younger version of one of the BBC’s pundits!
There is one song that trumps this. As I alluded to at the beginning of this post, I found something horrible and yet mesmerizing. If you could compose the world’s campest song you’d probably include The Village People and the Hof, along with George Michael and a few others. Sadly, George is missing from this line up, but to complement the ymca gang and the Hof, he’s been replaced by the entire German football team of 1994. This is well and truly awful…
I could stop the post here but I’d like to end on a positive note or two. There is one football anthem that has withstood the test of time. I think it’s down to it being a bit tongue in cheek and yet having a cracking chorus which doubles up as a good football chant. It was written for England’s 1996 European campaign, it is the second most memorable moment from the tournament after Gareth Southgate’s missed penalty, its Three Lions on a Shirt…
My last song is argued to be one of the best world cup songs in history from a composotional stand point and compared to the others I genuinely like this one! Here, for Jake’s sake and all those who love New Order (a band I respect but wouldn’t normally listen to) here is World in Motion:
Is that the guy from the mars advert on the video, although notably younger? I’m not entirely sure. Still, one last nugget of information for you. Blackstreet ‘No Diggity’ came out in 1996, the very year England and Germany met in the knockout stages of a tournament, and England were knocked out. The same is happening this year and Dizzee Rascal sampled them for his World Cup song. Have Dizzee Rascal and James Corden jinxed our championship hopes through their attempts at cheap laughs? They just might have… Either way, thanks for reading and normal service may resume next week.