SOEM SLAMZ 4 U!: What wigger slam actually is…

I get the impression that wigger slam is widely misused and misconstrued, probably because it has the unusual trait of having the word “wigger”, in it’s name, a word itself derived from a far more offensive word (nigger). This gives it some fun novelty value which means it gets slapped all over the place with reckless abandon. Resultantly, among plebs like yourselves, who have no fucking idea what I’m talking about, some confusion may arise over what it actually is. That is why I have drawn this helpful diagram to help explain.

During the 90’s, bands like Suffocation and Immolation (both from new york) were like, lets play death metal, but have more slow bits, and be kina grimy. So they did. Then the undisputed kings of the genre, Devourment, came along, and totally liked it, so they went further and made everything really low, really gutteral, really grimy, made the rule that you can’t play above the 5th fret, or use anything other than your lowest 3 strings. An actual “slam” riff, is a simple yet attitudeful riff, usually slow to mid tempo, while each note can be called a “slam”. So for example, if I said to you, “dude, you heard that Ingested CD yet? That thing fucking SLAMS!”, I would basically be recommending the CD to you, on the basis that it is rich in Slam riffs. It should also be noted that the “wigger” prefix, is due to a trend that sprung up in the 00’s, wherin it became commonplace for slam metal bands to dress (and act), like huge wiggers (more on that story later).

Devourment, from Texas I think. FYI, that t-shirt I sometimes wear, with the dead woman and “She should have said yes” written on the back, is a Devourment t-shirt. So you know. ‘cos there’s no way you could actually read that logo without pointers.

Devourments first album, “Molesting the Decapitated”, was critically acclaimed, and ushered in a golden age of awesome slams and wonderfully retarded songs.

EPIC.FUCKING.SLAMS

Anyways, Devourment are still going strong, with a new album which slams so fucking hard it hurts, as well as having headlined some festival in Germany called deathfeast, which I have planned on going to but failed for the past 3 years.

I wana see them just so I can experience Mike Majewski’s bowl voiding gutterals in person…

A sea of wigger arm movements…Incidentally, Babykiller is like, the slam metal Bohemian Rhapsody

Of course, since Devourment, slam has curiously spread around the globe, with the current hotbeds being the US (obviously), and then Russia and Japan. I think it just appeals to the Jap’s love of gore and sick shit.

Here is Japanese slam impresarios Glossectomy. Note the fucked up dancing at 0:33

Meanwhile, Russia gives us Katalepsy and Abominble Putridity 🙂

Anyway, there’s a ton of other bands I could mention: Gutteral Secrete, Gutteral Engourgement, Disgorge, Pathology, Cephalotripsy (Gutteral is very much a buzz word over here)…. But then I’d just be listing youtube videos, and trying to find something interesting about each one, when they all have the same accolade; THEY FUCKING SLAM!

Now here is a Waking The Cadaver video so you can see Slam metal in full blown wiggerdom.

It’s like Limp Bizkit fucked Devourment and had a retarded kid 🙂

I also love the budgetness of it all, with all the fake blood and entrails most likely bought from a butchers. Wonder who’s girlfriend they convinced to “get abducted”….

Edit: The best troll ever, on last.fm, taking full advantage of the “wigger” slam moniker for some world class metalhead baiting 🙂

Further Edit: New Yorkment, another awesome Wigger Slam pisstake…

I’m actually in the process of putting together a wigger slam/deathcore band in Manchester right now, I’ll keep you updated on any developments….now to go buy more new era caps, basketball shorts, and sleeve tattoos!

Advertisements

One thought on “SOEM SLAMZ 4 U!: What wigger slam actually is…

  1. Haha best of luck with the band man! I’ll probably look on at you guys playing a gig sometime soon and wonder what the hell went wrong when you buggers got your hands on hip hop.

    Basketball shorts are definitely the way forward though! If you wish to resume learning how to play let me know.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s